Hold on – Let me back up for just a sec…
I recently read a report that said almost sixty percent of American teenage girls say they feel hopeless. HOPELESS.
My heart broke and my head hung low in dismay.
For real, you guys? What in the world is going on?
I know there are a lot of people out there with may more sophisticated ways of going about researching this and coming up with possible solutions, but the truth is, I am tired of waiting on the perfect way forward. I want to see progress now, don’t you?
With all of the “advanced” options we have these days, with the possibilities that are seemingly within reach right at our fingertips, how can it be that hopelessness seems to be an increasing problem?
I’m just going to say it: it’s not working.
This whole idea of “let’s just create more digital solutions” in a world that is hurting desperately for real-life human engagement – it’s just not cutting it.
I remember the time when people had time for people. When they weren’t so frenzied chasing crap that was never what they really wanted in the first place. What they really wanted was stuff like wholeness, good hearted people to do life with, contributing to something that mattered deeply to their soul, and a nap. They wanted a nap and to not feel bad about it.
BUT, somewhere along the way, they were told that in order to get that life they really wanted, they had to run hard, hustle, grind, limit their time with people, but don’t dare miss that strategic planning meeting (which, of course, was going to help them plan for the next step forward into this whole crazy mess).
I think as a society we have followed the path set before us because we trusted the messengers. We trusted they knew what they were talking about because, after all, their lives looked perfect on the screen.
But now we are seeing the results. We have sacrificed our own soul in pursuit of stuff we never wanted, AND our kids are feeling the weight of loneliness and despair as they’ve watched us stare at our phones instead of into their heart. Meanwhile, they’re longing for something real. Hope.
To the upcoming generation who has these feelings of hopelessness, here are some pro-tips from an amateur human:
My prayer is that that you find hope in the fact that, somehow, by the grace of God, you already innately know there is something more, something better, something deeper to this life. You’re right, there is.
It’s not perfect, so please don’t trust the Instagram-system or whatever the newest social media thing is these days. Life isn’t perfect and it never will be, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something beautiful and wonderful to it.
You are a part of something bigger than yourself and your part matters.
On one hand, I just want to be honest with you and tell you that, contrary to common belief, the whole world isn’t watching you. We aren’t spending all of our free time scouring the internet to see what you ate for dinner on Friday or where you and your friends hung out last weekend. Find freedom in that.
On the other hand, the world needs you and the unique gifts and talents you have.
(Sidenote: You don’t have all of those figured out yet, so don’t fret. Give yourself some time… it’ll come together…heck, we’re all working on figuring this thing out!)
The world doesn’t need you to be perfect, so please be released from unrealistic expectations. Commercials are lying to you. You don’t need a certain product to be beautiful or enough. You don’t need to be a certain size or have a stupid thigh gap. (Those are mostly made with photoshop anyway.) Spending money you don’t have on stuff that is supposed to make you feel whole never works. Save your money & your sanity.
You’re human, just like the rest of us. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some. You’ll fall – sometimes hard – but make your it your life’s mission to be the champion of getting back up. Nobody gets to hold you down or make you feel less than or like you should hope less unless you give them the ability to do that. Don’t ever do that. You’re worth more than that.
Pay attention to how things make you feel after you’ve spent time doing. If you find you’re always feeling crappy after something, quit giving your life to that thing. It could be stuff going on online, following certain influencers, having certain foods/drinks, being around certain people because that’s where you feel you need to be to “fit,”… whatever. If it’s sucking the best part of life out of you, maybe it’s best to put it on pause for a minute.
On the other hand, if you always feel great about something, like truly, deeply good in your soul, press into that more. It’s part of finding the things that bring you to life. Oh- and I am NOT talking about trying to dull or numb the pain with substances or whatever the cool thing is these days. Those things will come back to steal life from you; it’s not a joke. It’s not something you’ll do just while you’re young; again- you are worth more. Stand up straight. Own your own decisions as if your life depended on them because it does. Don’t give your life over to things that ultimately steal your very life from you.
The teenage years can be wonky. Regardless of how middle-aged people come across right now, trust me, it was weird for them when they were that age, too. They just aren’t telling you about the times they got shut down, cut from the team, or felt like they didn’t fit in even when they were holding the MVP award.
These feelings, the insecurities, the uncomfortable stuff you have to endure just to exist right now- it won’t last forever. You’ll get to the next season and life and, well… honestly, you’ll have other things to overcome. But with each new season of life, you end up finding yourself stronger and more resolute. More comfortable in your own skin. More confident in the fact that you can take on whatever life throws at you because you have a record of all the times before in your life when you just kept getting back up. You, “the champion of getting back up,” got stronger through your hard times.
You don’t need permission to stand on your own two feet. And I mean STAND. Not just “be,” but be bold and brave and authentic. Whole. Consistent to your own soul.
If you feel like you need permission, well, here you go: Do it!
We don’t need you to be perfect, but we do need you.
Could you do me a favor along the way, though? Would you try your darnedest to do for others what you wish someone would have done for you? I’m not a genius, but it’s been my life’s experience that when people did that for me, it changed my life. I think that counts for something… right? You have the ability to influence and change the world around you- that counts for something.
Forsake the false pursuit of perfection according to the world’s standards. Those standards are going to change tomorrow anyway.
Instead, keep your eyes set on the stuff that always remains.
And may you find everlasting hope along the way.
Love,
Amanda
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ps: In the next episode of the podcast I’m sharing a little bit about what I have been doing because of my thoughts on this. Tune in here!
